


Someday

by dreaming_wide_awake



Series: Clexa week 2017 [5]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, ClexaWeek2017, F/F, I can't even, but can't, probably should apologise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 04:27:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10071452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreaming_wide_awake/pseuds/dreaming_wide_awake
Summary: The battle for Polis had been fought and won, Ontari was dead, Luna was guiding the Coalition. Yet Clarke had still never felt so alone. Though she is not alone as someone is watching over her from the shadows.orFor Day 5 of Clexaweek2017.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This literally damn near killed me to write, I am currently an emotional mess. I don't even know what to write here, I just really hope that you all like it. Stay strong guys, we're not done yet. Drop me a comment and let me know what you think.

She remembered it clearly, the gunshot, the pain. But the darkness that should have followed never arrived, the flame wouldn’t let her die. She had spent months living with a different kind of darkness though. She had watched from the shadows as Ontari’s reign of terror began, how her beloved Polis bowed under the pressure of an Azgeda Commander, how her people suffered in a way that she promised they never would again. She had failed in her duty to protect them, failed in her duty to show them a better way. She watched as the Coalition she had given everything to create started to buckle and fracture.

Though the flame had not let her die, she felt that she died a little more every day, watching everything fall apart with no way to stop it. But her people had rebelled, fought back against the oppressor, led by none other than Clarke. Her Clarke.

Two months had since passed, the clean-up of Polis had finished, ridding the city of anything that reminded them of Ontari’s short but disastrous reign of terror. Under Luna’s guidance life began to return to normal in the streets of the city, Lexa watched on as children again began to play in the streets and laughter was once again heard echoing throughout the city. But Lexa’s heart remained heavy. Peace may have returned to Polis, but peace would never again find the girl she loved.

Finding Luna and bringing her to Polis had given Clarke a mission, something to focus on, the continuation of Lexa’s legacy was the goal that she held onto for all her worth. After the battle through the city streets, Skaikru had returned back to Arkadia, their position as the 13th clan once again secure. But, once again, Clarke had not returned with them. Choosing to remain in Polis.

Without anything to fight for, Clarke gave up. Existing for the sake of existing. Lexa continued to watch from the shadows as night after night Clarke staggered from the tavern, heading back to the tower, only to repeat everything the following day. The light that had once shone in those blue eyes that Lexa loved was gone, to be replaced with a vacancy that broke Lexa’s heart more and more every time she saw it.

But still Lexa had to wait, the time still wasn’t right for the people of Polis and the Coalition to know that she lived. She lived and she was still the carrier of the Flame.

Indra was one of the only people who knew Lexa was alive, having hidden the injured Commander away in the attic room of her home. Ryder continued to serve his Commander as well. A few others also knew of her survival, but the numbers were kept low, and only those who were steadfastly loyal. Getting Lexa out of the tower and to safety had been Titus’s last act as her Fleimkepa.

Only once Lexa was fully healed could she return to her people, only once she was fully healed could she return to her duties, to Clarke. But that wasn’t going to stop her watching over the blonde, no matter how hard Indra tried.

 

x-x-x-x

 

Clarke found herself, once again, sitting at a table close to the bar of the tavern. Though it was always busy, she was always left alone, nobody bothered her. That fact should have amused her as it hadn’t been that long since most Grounders wanted her dead, but things had changed, now her legacy was Lexa’s legacy. The continuation of what Lexa had started, that was Clarke’s cause now, that was the only thing left in this world that she would give her dying breath for. She sometimes found herself wishing that day would come, it was the only way she could think of to get the pain to stop.

She’d contemplated ending her life a few times, but every time she even considered it for a moment she would get a small voice in the back of her head that would say ‘this isn’t what she would want, she would want you to survive’, so survive she did. Life had gone from being about more than just surviving with Lexa, to battling through every day simply to survive without her. Simply existing.

For a while she had believed that she could feel at home on the ground, she had believed that she could find that place where she truly felt like she belonged. But when she had finally found that place, it turned out not to be a place at all, but a person. A person who was then torn away from her in the cruellest way possible. Not a day went by where those green eyes didn’t fill her mind, not a day went by where she didn’t think of the peace she felt in those moments, not a day went by where she didn’t remember the utter soul shattering heartache.

She’d thought about going back to Arkadia, she’d thought about once again wandering through the forest with no real destination, but she knew that Polis would always be her final resting place, the place where she felt closer to the love she had lost. Lexa had loved Polis, so the city became the place where Clarke decided to stay.

For months Clarke had felt like someone was watching her, no matter where she was it felt like someone was burning a hole into what was left of her soul. It had been an uncomfortable feeling for a while, constantly feeling like someone was watching her, though she had often turned around while walking down an empty Polis street to find no one there. But it wasn’t a feeling that made her scared, it was almost as if her senses were telling her she had no reason to be afraid.

She motioned over to the bar for another drink, as she did she looked around the tavern. There were warriors enjoying their night, couples enjoying each other, and people like her who were sitting alone as they searched for their escape. In the corner of the room she saw someone sitting alone at a table, their head bowed slightly, the large hood they were wearing shielding their face from sight.

Niylah brought Clarke another drink, having moved from her position at the trading post after Skaikru killed her father, she now worked at the tavern.

“Who is that?” Clarke asked, motioning with her head to the person in the corner.

“No idea.” Niylah said as she put down Clarke’s drink, “they’ve been in here a few nights this week, they don’t say too much, just order a drink and then sit there.”

Niylah walked back to the bar as Clarke continued to look at the person sitting in the corner of the tavern. As if they could feel Clarke’s eyes on them, they pulled their hood further down around their face and stood up, easily walking through the crowd of drunken warriors as they made their way to the door. Clarke couldn’t stop her curiosity, standing up and following them out.

By the time Clarke made it from the tavern she saw them disappearing around the corner of the street.

 

x-x-x-x

 

After trying to follow the person in the hood from the tavern that night, Clarke had seen them everywhere. Watching children playing, watching young warriors training, simply watching as life continued in Polis. A couple of times she had gotten close to them, but something always distracted her for a split second, and when she looked back they were always gone. She had asked around, but nobody seemed to know who the mystery person in the hood was. Octavia said she could probably find out, when she had a break from doing her current work for Luna.

Octavia and Clarke were both grieving for lost loves, but both were doing it in very different ways. Clarke was trying everything she could not to feel, whereas Octavia was doing anything she could just to feel. Clarke had no idea what her friend was doing for Luna, but every time Octavia disappeared for a day or two, another enemy of the Coalition would turn up dead. It didn’t take much for Clarke to connect the two.

So one night, Octavia had joined Clarke at the tavern, hoping that the mystery person in the hood would make another appearance.

“Why do you want to know who it is so much?” Octavia asked as they both drank and waited.

“I don’t know,” Clarke replied with a shrug, “it just seems like everywhere I look they’re there, but not in a way that frightens me… I just… they seem familiar somehow…”

Not long later, the mystery person had made an appearance, though they hadn’t stayed long. Clarke had stayed at the tavern as Octavia followed whoever it was.

 

x-x-x-x

 

Lexa knew that she had been caught out, she could easily avoid Clarke by vanishing into the crowds, but Octavia was a whole different beast. The girl was trained not to be seen, and as much as Lexa hated to admit it, Indra had done a good job with her, not that she ever expected anything less. She reached Indra’s house before Octavia had reached her, though she knew the other girl wasn’t that far away, she knew what it felt like to be stalked and that was certainly what was happening.

 

x-x-x-x

 

To say Octavia was surprised when she saw her mark walk into Indra’s house was an understatement. Her mentor had been keeping her at arm’s length since Lexa had died, Octavia had simply put it down to Indra needing space, though the older woman still trained her, it was always away from her home. Rather than just go barging into the house, she knocked at the door, and it didn’t take long for Ryder to answer.

“Where’s Indra?” Octavia asked.

Ryder didn’t say anything, he simply stepped aside and let Octavia in.

She walked into the house to find Indra sharpening her blades in front of the fireplace.

“Who are they?” Octavia said as she walked closer to Indra.

When Indra didn’t reply, Octavia found herself getting angry. She let out a frustrated cry as she knocked a pot off the table, sending it flying into the wall.

“Indra,” she said, when the woman continued to ignore her, “whoever it is has been following Clarke, I need to know who they are.”

“No,” Indra said, “you don’t.”

“Fine, I’ll go and find out for myself.” Octavia said, making her way towards the stairs, knowing that whoever it was had to go upstairs, there was no other place they could’ve gone.

Before Octavia could get to the stairs, Ryder stood in front of her, blocking her way.

“Don’t make me hurt you.” Octavia said to him, narrowing her eyes a little as she was sure she saw a hint of a smile on the big mans lips.

When it became clear that Ryder wasn’t going to move, Octavia walked back into the room where Indra was still sitting, dropping herself down onto one of the chairs with a huff.

“I need to know if they’re a threat to Clarke.” Octavia said, “she might not care if she lives or dies anymore, but I do. She’s my family.”

“Clarke is in no danger from me.” A female voice said from the bottom of the stairs, a voice that caused Octavia to nearly fall out of the chair in shock.

“Lexa?” Octavia said as she stood up, her eyes wide, “you – you died.”

“No,” Lexa replied, shaking her head, “I didn’t. The flame didn’t let me die.”

“The flame that Luna has…” Octavia said, her brow furrowed a little, finally putting things together, “the flame that Luna has isn’t the real flame, that’s why the ceremony hasn’t taken place.”

Lexa’s silence confirmed Octavia’s theory.

“Everyone thinks you’re dead,” the younger girl said, “Clarke thinks you’re dead.”

“That’s the way it needed to be,” Lexa said, her hands clasped behind her back as she walked closer to where Octavia was standing, “it wasn’t safe…”

“You broke her heart, Lexa,” Octavia said, interrupting her, “she has nothing left to live for. You did that.”

“Titus did that.” Indra countered, “Heda needed to recover, if Azgeda had found out she lived, they would have killed her and taken the flame.”

“We could’ve survived that, as we survived Ontari.” Octavia said, looking between Lexa and Indra.

“If Ontari had taken the flame, there would be no way that she could have been unseated.” Lexa said calmly, “she would have destroyed everything, that couldn’t be allowed to happen.”

“Does Luna know you’re still alive?” Octavia asked.

Again Lexa didn’t say anything, her silence was all the answer that Octavia needed.

 

\-------------

 

For weeks Octavia lied to Clarke, once Lexa and Indra had told her of their plan she had no choice but to go along with it. When she really thought about it, it did make sense. Luna had no interest in being Commander, she simply wanted to live her life in peace, and the only way that could happen was if Lexa was returned to her rightful position.

“What are we doing here?” Clarke asked as she followed Octavia through the halls of the Polis tower, towards the meeting room, “I’m not Skaikru ambassador anymore, you know that.”

“This is something that you need to be here for.” Octavia replied as they continued walking.

“I’m done, Octavia,” Clarke said, stopping walking, “how many more times do I have to say that. I have nothing left to give.”

“This is us giving you something, Clarke.” Octavia said turning to look back at the blonde, “this is us giving you what you need.”

“You can’t give me what I need.” Clarke replied, shaking her head a little as tears once again started to burn her eyes, “nobody can…”

“Trust me,” Octavia said as she walked closer to her friends, as Clarke violently wiped the tears that had started to fall from her eyes, “one last time, Clarke, please trust me.”

Clarke let out a sigh but also nodded a little, which caused Octavia to turn around and continue the walk to the meeting room, Clarke following on behind.

As they walked into the room, Clarke could see that the only people present were Luna, Indra, Ryder and the person in the hood. The guards on the door closed it as soon as Octavia and Clarke were inside, causing Clarke to jump slightly as she turned and looked at it. As she turned back to the others she saw the person was no longer wearing their hood.

“Hello, Clarke…” Lexa said softly.

“No,” Clarke said, shaking her head, her chest starting to constrict under the weight of her heart, “no, you died. I watched you die…”

Lexa didn’t say anything, she just walked down the steps towards where Clarke was standing. The blonde simply shook her head more and started to back away from Lexa, stopping as her back hit the wall.

As Clarke continued to struggle to breathe, Luna motioned for Indra and Octavia to follow her out of the room, leaving Clarke and Lexa alone.

Clarke collapsed to her knees, sobbing.

“I watched you die…” she said repeatedly through her tears.

Lexa did the only thing she could think of and joined Clarke on the floor, wrapping her arms protectively around the crying girl and pulling her into her embrace. It didn’t take long for Clarke to wrap her arms around Lexa’s waist and hold on for dear life.

“I’m here, Clarke,” Lexa soothed, kissing the blonde’s head, “I’m here, and I am never leaving you again.”


End file.
